I end up in my male attire I en- counter my neighbors, they ei- ther fail to recognize me or, upon recognizing, prefer to ig- nor my male self.

This brings me to some carefully considered broader com ments on "Society and the Habitual Crossdresser" as I see it. I think that if he/she dresses and makes up well and appropri- ately for the feminine role chosen, the average citizen will accept him/her in that role. And for this to be so it does not seem necessary for that citizen to be wholly convinced that you are a woman. As far as the pub- lic at large is concerned, you are dressed as one, you are conduct- ing yourself inoffensively as one and it is obvious that you wish to be accepted as one. So, "O.K. mate no worries!" seems to be the attitude. Thus in some circumstances, even if detected or suspected, the crossdresser can expect to be treated with civility and ordinary respect - even if outgoing, enthusiastic friendliness is withheld. Natural- ly this will not apply if you are so unconvincing that you are pushing your luck quite a bit even to put your nose outside your own front door. A cross- dresser in this unfortunate cate- gory, when out in public, can expect a reaction ranging from immoderate hilarity to acute embarassment.

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Similiarly, the crossdresser who misbehaves, asks for trouble or if he is one who frequents places where trouble-spinners congregate, he should not expect the characters at such places to act like Sunday School children. Likewise, if the crossdresser goes out looking like one of the girls who sit in lighted shop-windows in Hamburg's Reeperbahn, he can expect all sorts of unpleasant things to happen. Don't be sur- prised by a visit from the cop on the beat or a date in court or an

inspection by the prowl-car to make sure that you are harmless.

In their relations with Soci- ety, most crossdressers know all the above and manage to stay out of trouble.

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But merely staying out of trouble is, like Patriotism, not enough. If one is to avoid the shattering loneliness of the clo- set crossdresser, he must make some friends. One should not merely aim to relate broadly to Society at large must should aim also to relate with some degree of intimacy and under- standing to a limited sector of it. And "Aye, there's the rub!" But in this area my gentle cy- nicisms may be of interest; I can claim, at least, to have been over all the jumps and whenever I have fallen I have taken the trouble to find out why.

For a crossdresser to relate satisfactorily to Society and to acquire real social friends is not impossible. Not quite! But for such friendships to be worth much, he/she should be able to mix with those friends in a range of normal situations.

You will find that the straight friends that you have and who are quite happy to like and accept your chosen gender role are too often fettered by their own real or imagined obligations to their own environ- ment. They naturally have their own friends who they assume will be very non-accepting of their association with you.

And then, of course, there are the children.

Children, above cradle age, are usually a major obstacle to the crossdressers social accep- tance. Most parents, however swinging, wife-swapping, group- sex-loving and utterly tolerant of other people's fads they may be, are wary of exposing their young to possible contamination by an "Auntie" whom nature designed as an "Uncle." They 7

seldom come right out and tell you so but you are enabled to learn that they fear some name- less and dire damage to the and morals of their children. And so the crossdresser must expect to receive such qualified invitations as "Oh, DO come and see us just anytime. But not until after the kids are as-

leep, if you don't mind." You then suffer a sharp pang of rejection and a fit of ego- deflation from which only hard cases recover quickly.

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But recover, fast or not you have come up sharply against one of the bastion de- fenses of society and the best that you can do while recovering is to comfort yourself with some largely correct, if bitchy, re- flection. You can say to your- self that, compared with you in your role of Auntie," (with your good clothes and grooming) you are quite sure that much more permanent damage will be done to Bill and Gloria's brats by other features in their family life. For example, their exposure to Gloria's genetically-conven- tional, patronising, over-weight, denim-wrapped, raucous and neurotic friends and kinsfolk! And with such not wholly untruthful bitchiness, you drive the rejection from your door- step and try again, this time among the childless.

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As a crossdresser with a place, however ill defined, and tenous, in the daily life of a great city, one makes many ing friendships. Especially is this so if, in spite of being well turned-out and generally creda- ble, one is not impenetrably disguised as a woman - and to a shrewd observer, very few cross- dressers are.

Most adults seem to find the crossdresser intriguing. they become consumed with cu-